The Struggle is Real

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Trapped in a world of unknown worries and a home of constant struggle. Life can be so hard. Somedays it’s hard to breathe. I wake up daily exhausted to a 2 year old normally already in my bed and a 3 year old that came to snuggling for a minute. I’m not kidding about the minute. Second 61, like clock work, the whining starts for juice, baby Joy Joy, up! Forced out of bed, I enter the living room that was clean at one point yesterday to the kitchen that is a disaster because I didn’t want to start the fighting and screaming of children trying to get chores done. Oh Don’t be fooled, I would be screaming as well. I truly desire to be that mom that is so patient and lovingly corrects her children and never raises her voice. I really do want to be her!! I’ve been working so hard for years to fix me. It’s not easy!!! Exhaustion Really kicks your butt. But then adding anxiety and depression it literally makes life suck. I’m seriously surviving. People talk about seasons well this season is just that: survival. I keep praying this season will end soon. Where is my husband you ask? He’s traveling for work. Yep, that’s right, life already sucks and my husband gets a job traveling. So I’m single mommying it for a few days a week. I know, it could be worse. I've got to get out of this deep dark hole that I've been in for way too long. Which is why I'm starting this blog.

1) Because I want to see the positives in my life and by writing every night <My goal> it will help be looking for them throughout the day.

2) This is me time. I need to do things for me. My bucket is way too dry so this is a must to move out of this survival season.

This is the year of change. I have lots of plans this year with my children and with me. I want to enjoy my children and do fun things! I want to travel! I want to homeschool next school year. In order to do this I need to be more patient and control my anger. Over the years I've learned a lot and surviving life makes it hard to implement them. I just need to do it!! I need to put time in for me so I can see the change I want.

This blog will be my journey as I try to make my life happier and my home a place of comfort and security for my and my family.

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