Filling My Bucket

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As if I could actually get time to myself to write on here every night.  I guess a better goal would be once a week. (?) This week I've been doing more things for me. I donated plasma for the first time.  They have a really good payout plan going on so why not right?  I got $125 for the first time and I think the same payout tomorrow for my second donation. My amazing sister in law is watching my kiddos so I can to this. I'm planning on buying fun water toys like Kayaks, or a paddle board.  I'm excited about that.  I also started getting a massage every paycheck.  I started that a while ago to help me.  I really never spent money on me so this is something I'm doing to fill my bucket every 2 weeks.  ITS AMAZING! I get pampered and it really helps with my stress... This weeks stress,  my 10 year old daughter ran away because she wouldn't accept the no answer she got.  We looked for her for an hour and 20 minutes.  I'm grateful for the many amazing neighbors and friends that help us.  She was found hiding at a park.  Seriously, a no answer! This wont be her last no answer that will upset her. I'm really hoping this will be that last time she runs away.  She did it once before while we were on vacation.  SO FUN....NOT!  (That time was a few minutes that she was gone so I found her pretty fast and it took about 30 minutes to talk her down to come back home- I was a good mom and didn't yell.  I just sat with her and validated her feelings)  These Preteen attitudes are a new stress that is testing my patience.  My 12 year old daughter is "bipolar" right now.  One moment she's happy, the next moment, I'm the worst mom in the world. I just cant seem to do anything right in her eyes.  Stressor #3, Chores.  Seriously, the rules never change. get your chores done before playing with friends.  Its not like their chores take them hours.  5 MINUTES PEOPLE!  Just get it done and then go play.  Why can't they see how much time they are wasting whining about the dang things.  Anyway,

Another thing Im trying to do is to see the positives, or say positive affirmations.  "This too shall pass."  "I am a good mom"  "Im ok" and lots of deep breaths.  I just need to kick the negative talk out of my head more often and replace them with things like this.  Its passed my bedtime...night!


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